I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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