so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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