Do you still have your period?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
