Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
last night I used snow as a chaser
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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