The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize