Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
