I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
