you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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