It's like God shit irony all over that family
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
