Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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