would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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