Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
We smell like vodka and hangover
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