mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
