I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My bed smells like the plague
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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