Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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