at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
