I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
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