I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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