I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You ruined the universe
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
