He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
