There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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