Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
