Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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