Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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