Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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