I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
