eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
