did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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