if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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