I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
