guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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