i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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