I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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