Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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