when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
