I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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