I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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