see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Randomize
