it wasn't lemon gatorade
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
