But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
