Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
