we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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