you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
