mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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