we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
