i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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