Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
