And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
