good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
