think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just threw up on my dentist
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Another day, another engagement, another cat
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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