we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
