Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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