I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
