so explain again why im purple
no
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
