the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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