I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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