billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
