I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
