A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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