He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
