hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
